The reason is this: we have kids. Two of them and one on the way. And we know that it is an inevitability that they will one day ask if they can have a pet.
ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOT, and here are some reasons why:
- Animals stink. None of them wear deodorant. Not a single one as far as I can tell.
- Animals poop. Anywhere they gosh dang please. And you, the owner of the filthy animal, have to clean up that poop because most animals I know don't poop in the toilet.
- Animals are hairy and that hair is routinely shed. On your new furniture.
- Even the best trained animals have been known to bite, kick, peck, knock over, and otherwise injure widdle kids.
- Animals are attracted to human crotches. Not just that, but they pursue that attraction in public. Animals have no shame.
- Animals run around out-of-control, which means you have to run around out-of-control to catch them and put them back where they belong.
- Unless you're comfortable with their offensive disgusting odor, you have to clean them and their dwelling place regularly.
I could go on all day, but basically, it all adds up to YUCKY and NOT FOR ME. Plus, I know that if we were to get a pet for one of our kids, they would do the work to take care of it for about a week. Then, since nobody was taking care of it, I would be the one who would have to shoot it or flush it down the toilet. Not that I mind doing that, but eventually the kids would find out and then I'm a murderer.
So let's just be okay with the no pets rule, mkay?
